I’m not talking some kiddie pool waves here, folks. I’m talking some mid-2000’s Thailand (was that where it was?) tsunami tidal wave shit here. And it starts with Exhibit A: Isaiah “Brinks Truck” motherfucking Thomas.
I actually added the "MF-ing", I don’t think anyone refers to him as that (he’s a pretty solid guy actually) .. BUT CAN WE GET OVER THIS DUDE ALREADY???
For the life of me, you’d think the Celtics traded Larry Bird for Kyrie Irving this past summer, not Isaiah “we got you for Marcus Thornton and a 2nd rd pick” Thomas.
I understand none of you probably cared when we traded for him (unlike ME who literally called him being a stud - “he put up 20 a game playing for SAC” I think was my argument - I have witnesses!). But guess what? NOW YOU DO CARE. And now let’s take a huge step back (fuck your own face) and think about why that is. Why did he go from being a nobody to Isaiah freaking Thomas in 2.5 years?
“When you get down to the brass tax” as my father has said to me 4,765 times in my life, the truth of the matter is Boston made Isaiah who he is. Brad Stevens made Isaiah who he is. Danny Ainge made Isaiah who he is. Being a BOSTON FUCKING CELTIC, and understanding the true meaning of it, made Isaiah who he is.
Now I’m not taking all the credit away from this guy. What he accomplished here in even such a short time is nuts. Yes, he was as big a conduit in transforming the franchise back into the contender as almost any, but didn't we know that he wasn't going to be "the guy" to take us to the promised land??
Look ... what he did for the team after his sister passed doesn’t even need to be mentioned in regards to the type of person he is because people know. However he does deserve all the credit in the world because the amount of courage and strength it takes to do that is unparalleled. But do we have to be at this guy’s mercy and sing his praises till the end of time? Do we have to make him into some sort of martyr for being traded??
THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED. We wanted the ”fireworks” we were promised years ago by Grousbeck. We wanted a star player who might be able to lead us to a ring. All these things are coming together! But now that we get caught up in a quick love affair and can’t let IT out of our heads - we have to go out of our way to feel sorry for this guy at every turn. I say FUCK THAT. And I’m justified.
I’m justified because the guy literally came out and said he wouldn’t have played after his sister died had he known he’d be traded. Really, Isaiah? ... All that talk about playing for your sister, but now that it would’ve came on the heels of getting moved, you wouldn’t play for her anymore? ... Or can we just call it what it is ... the guy is just being salty.
I wish I could use some of the salt IT has been throwing around to donate to Winthrop’s shitty DPW system so my hill wouldn’t become Wachusett for cars ... because there’s been a whole lot of it. — On a quick side note, if you think Winthrop’s plowing isn’t good (they’ve actually been all right this year) ... go take a trip to Arlington. Honest to God, I don’t even think those people plow the fucking roads. That shit really is like using a four wheel toboggan.
Idiots will call me a conspiracy theorist but I honestly believe Isaiah specifically had his Celtics tribute video cancelled for the same reason. He was still salty and said “let me cancel this last second” to either purposely have it switched to Pierce’s night to cause that stir or at the very least to throw the C’s for a little loop having to reschedule it.
The dude claims he wanted to have his family there to see him play but then has no problem standing up off the bench for close to a minute to receive an arena-wide ovation from fans. Insert the 'face thinking about something' emoji, please.
Sorry but why are you standing up acknowledging an ovation FOR A MINUTE but can’t accept a tribute video because “you’re not playing?” Are people really going to believe this guy didn’t know he’d be on the bench a few weeks in advance and that he couldn’t get tickets for his family in that time? The Celtics had a tribute set up for him ... they probably had tickets side aside specifically for his family for the occasion. Would they not?
But yet instead we have some people calling out Pierce for being “selfish” because he just wants the night that honors his 15 FUCKING YEARS to himself even if it means not sharing two minutes for Isaiah. BOO FUCKING HOO you crybabies! “Why can’t Pierce just reschedule HIS night? Wahh wahh!!” ... uhh yeah, try maybe the fucking Napolean complex midget doesn’t reschedule his night because his panties are still in a bunch? No, that's too much to ask though I'm sure.
All in all, the whole situation was resolved by Thomas “taking the high road” as some fans on Twitter put it, A.K.A. doing the only thing to not make an ass out of himself and more importantly ending all this bullshit that HE STARTED by now requesting (a second time) for his tribute to be cancelled.
Honestly, like I said, I could call him out more but at this point I’m just happy this is over. I really can’t wait for other Celtic fans to realize we have KYRIE MOTHERFUCKING IRVING, A.K.A. UNCLE DREW, A.K.A. MR. “IM A REAL BAWLAH,” A.K.A. THE GREATEST BALL HANDLER ON FUCKING EARTH. Stop being contrarian whiny little bitches (if you have to think about it, you're probably one) ... take your candy and fucking go home.
Thomas got what he wanted and caused a stir -- now we get what we want and this shit is done. The only thing I look forward to at this point is the Celtics using IT like one of the midgets in Wolf of Wall Street and watching PP sling him across the hardwood into the hoop on February 11th. MAKE THE LITTLE** MAN FLY!!!!
It's a pleasure to be back writing for Instant O and we hope you liked the blog! Fuck you Gumby!!!!!
